I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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