She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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