What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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