mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
