I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
