whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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