I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
