have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
