Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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