You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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