I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
