so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
