On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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