I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do vagina's smell?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
