Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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