Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
