i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
no you cant smoke seaweed
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
