It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
