you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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