Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
