I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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