She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
