just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
