the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Four minutes until I can fart!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
