I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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