Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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