All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
