just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
