i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Still dying that you shit outside
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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