Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
