No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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