there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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