I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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