wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
