Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
