there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
