I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
