Nicole vs. Life
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
