when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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