He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
