just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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