Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
