you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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