some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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