You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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