I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
