I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
