I wanna passion pit in your ass
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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