I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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