come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
