You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
