This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
