i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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