I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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